In this day in age, it’s very easy to become insecure due to social media and the expectations of beauty standards. With school being back on track for many, it’s a time where many struggle with anxiety and the feeling of not being good enough. Schools have become more than just places to become educated. In ways, they’ve helped create friendships and unforgettable memories, but also have created doubts of self-worth in countless teenagers and young adults.
Last year I was a freshman entering high school with not many friends. Being a freshman is hard enough, but when you’re shy and introverted, it’s ten times worse. Though no one really cares about what you’re doing, it feels like everyone’s eyes are on you when you walk into a classroom or when you say something wrong. Even before freshman year, I was very shy and insecure. This was because I never felt like I had a good group of friends behind me. I never trusted anyone with my secrets because there was no one I truly felt comfortable around. Seeing other groups of friends being so close, and I only having a couple of friends, made me question what was wrong with me. Was I too boring? Not funny enough? Not worth their time? or even more absurd, not pretty enough? All of these negative emotions just piled up into this ball of absolute messiness.
I’ve learned so much about myself in one year. At the beginning of 2017, I told myself that I would try my best to become a better me. It definitely hasn’t been easy and along the way, I’ve forgotten my goal. I truly started realizing what I wanted to do and who I was in 2018. I still carry some sadness, anxiety, jealousy, and anger; I’m human. Learning to love yourself cannot be done overnight. It’s a struggle and journey, but a beautiful one. I’ve just started mine and I want you all to do it with me.
Today, I wanted to share with you ways I’ve become more optimistic and more confident in myself. Please be aware, that I am still growing and learning as well. I am not writing this as a perfect, cured person, and by no means am I claiming that I am an expert on mental health. Use my post as a motivator to become a better you. Please remember that if you think you are struggling with a mental illness, talk to an adult or someone you trust.
1. It Takes Time!
Like I said before, loving yourself is a journey. Nothing comes overnight, especially not self-love. Don’t get discouraged, great things take time. Sometimes it may feel like nothing is working, but you have to find out the reason as to why it’s not working and start again. The universe has weird ways of telling us that something isn’t good for us. I always tell myself that if there is a task that doesn’t work out, then maybe it was for the best and it was out of my control. If something doesn’t work out, let it go, and start again.
2. Find a Hobby or a Passion.
When you start comparing yourself to others and there is a growing feeling of jealousy, that is when you need to find something that makes you feel proud of yourself. Jealousy stems from not feeling like you’re good enough, so start exploring yourself. Ask yourself, “what is something I’ve always wanted to do or improve in?” Like number 1, this might take a while for you to discover, for me it was writing and talking about fashion and beauty. Once I had discovered this, I put love and time into it, and I became proud of what I was making. I promise that when you start doing the things you want to do and what makes you happy, something amazing happens where you forget about others and become proud of yourself.
3. When It Comes to Friends: Quality Over Quantity.
In middle school, I guess you could say I was part of a big “popular group.” These friend groups aren’t like this everywhere, but I found that there was a lot of negative energy and many girls would talk crap behind each other’s back. The feeling of being the excluded one became very apparent, but I stayed because I was too afraid that I would become lonely without them. I told myself that when it was time to start high school, that it was not gonna be the same. I was going to find people that I truly felt comfortable around, and I finally did. I only have a few select friends, but those few friends are all that I need. Don’t stress about finding new friends. Do things and join clubs that interest you, and naturally people with the same interests as you will gravitate towards you.
4. Remove Negative Energy.
If you have to take one thing out of this post, it’s to remove all or as most as you can, of the negative energy around you. What’s keeping you unhappy? Whether it’s internal or external, find ways to remove yourself from those situations. If your friends are the issue, slowly pull yourself away and try to make new ones. Sometimes the negative energy can be held inside of us. Be honest with yourself about these feelings and get to the roots of them. This isn’t easy to do, but once it’s done, it’s absolutely rewarding.
So that’s all for today! ❤️ Please remember that I am not a trained professional in mental health and if you need help talk to a trusted adult. I hope that you all enjoyed this post, and if you did make sure to like and share it! Feel free to leave me any comments in the comment section, I love talking and responding to all of you. I’ve created an Instagram to promote my blog if you’d like to follow me the username is @claraxmariana.
See you soon!❤️